A Compendium of Advice from People who Should Never Really Give Advice

From some of the brightest, dirtiest, most demented but funny minds in America, You’re a Horrible Person, But I Like You from The Believer is a compendium of advice from people who should never give advice.

Originally conceived as a column for The Believer, the book takes some of the biggest names in comedy—from veteran standup comics to up-and-coming writers, actors, and producers from shows like Saturday Night Live, The Office, The Colbert Report, Flight of the Conchords, Arrested Development, and Freaks and Geeks—and lets them run rampant through the advice-giving format.

A book filled with wildly personal questions, radically strange confessions, and truly inappropriate advice, You’re a Horrible Person, But I Like You might not solve any of your problems, but it will make them seem more normal.

An excerpt from the book:

Samantha Bee

Dear Samantha:

I was wondering if you could give me some investment advice. I’m about to retire and I’m a little freaked.

Leah Dawson
Sarasota, FL

Dear Leah:

I’m freaked for you. I’m so freaked I don’t even have any jokes. I was trying to think of a kind of jokey answer and then I just felt like a horrible person and I deleted it. I am really scared for you. Seriously scared. You are in serious trouble. I hope you’ve been hoarding conflict diamonds and Cipro, because you are about to enter the s-h-i-t, the Heart of Darkness. Take everything you ever thought you knew about investing and do the exact opposite. The currency of the future will be heirloom seeds, so good luck with that one. Panic. Learn how to field dress a wild pig and distill your urine into potable water. Most importantly, if you take anything away from this response at all, just know that the best thing for you to do is to exercise a lot and stay really sinewy, so that when the cannibals come they will not want to eat you.

I should probably also mention that I just finished reading The Road. I don’t know if that makes a difference at all.


Click here to read more excerpts from the book.